Misery Loves My Company..

I have a lot on my mind & nobody to talk to about it all.. Somethings are not that bad to talk about like my Grandma's cancer came back or I need a Job so I have Money but I want to go back to school way more then I want a job.. but then some stuff is just too sad & depressing to even talk about.. I just don't know.. I want to run away from my life sometimes. Its nothing like what I'd planed on it becoming when I was a teen. The only thing keeping me going is HOPE.. Hope that this will all pass, Hope that things will get better, Hope that I can still fix all the shit I fucked up & got myself here by doing.. Hope, its like Faith, but without the church like tones & positive "it WILL get better" mindset.. My mom said it best, "Hope for the best, But prepare for the worse". In other words, I'm dreading what I need to do to fix things & really just want to avoid a full start over of my life.. Even though I'm pretty sure that's what I need..